No no Names

Ever hear names and wonder, "Where your parents on crack or something?" Well, I hear a lot of those working children's retail. Most of the time I pray that it's just a nickname, but there are times where having it be a nickname isn't acceptable either. Seriously. Here's just a few:

Noxley (boy)
Nobler (boy)
Meaton (boy) Steak anybody?
Trailyn (girl)
Trixie (girl) Tricky pixie maybe? Maybe not?
Cashley (girl) and yes, I double checked on this one to make sure they weren't saying Ashley.
Traxton (boy)
Dorcus (boy) AH! Really? Your child is going to get beat up at school.
Burley (boy)
Uvula (I'm still not sure if this was the boy or girl's name...I'm guessing girl?)

Keep checking up on this post. I'll keep adding the ridiculous names I hear as I work.

Signed,
Get Off the Crack Please

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Credit Cards and Know-It-Alls

Two weeks ago, we had a mom come up to the registers with her daughter to check out. After everything was rung up, the mom pulled out her red credit card. When her 5-year-old saw it, she lifted her chest up in pride and announced, "Mom. I know exactly what your credit card is made of." Obviously trying not to laugh, her mom asked, "Oh yeah? What's it made of?" With a very unsubtle hint of sass, the girl placed her hand on her hip and said, "It's obvious mom. It's made of really, REALLY nice red paper."

Mmmm...yep. My thoughts exactly.

Signed,
I Wish I Had Really Really Nice Red Paper

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We're So Booty-licious

About 2 months ago, we had a little girl (about four or five years old) get up on one of our tables and start dancing. When her mom realized what what going on, she asked her what she was doing. "I'm shaking my BOO-ty!" The girl giggled and kept going, slowly turning in circles this time while still shaking her hips. Her mom, obviously embarrassed, asked her to get down. The girl clearly had no intention of getting down and quickly said, "I can't mom! I'm booty-licious!" Needless to say, that little girl gave me confidence lessons and dance lessons all in one.

Signed,
Sponsoring Dancers One Booty At a Time

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A Leash Instead of a Leash? Brilliant.

So you know those little kiddie leashes that some parents have? I've seen a few people come in using them, which I appreciate because there's only so much tearing apart they can do when they're being kept close. But this one was different. This leash was a real dog leash. The mom had taken the clip and hooked it onto the little boy's belt loop. I know I shouldn't laugh, but I did. Out loud. She was literally using a leash in place of a leash! Genius.*

*Just as a side note, I am not saying that kids should be on leashes. It was just funny that she didn't have one so she used a real dog leash. That's all folks.

Signed,
I Should Go Walk My Dog

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Potty Training and Entitlement

Okay, so I told myself I wouldn't complain on this blog, but let's get real here. I work retail remember? Last week was a rough one, and I was hoping work would distract me. About 4 hours into my shift, a mother came up to me and asked if I had a mop. I asked her why and she said there was a "spill". I went to the back and grabbed our dollar store mop and a handful of paper towels, and went back to where the woman was waiting for me. Next to her was her 10-year-old daughter, leggings and skirt soaked, a puddle at her feet. "I'm sorry, she had an accident and couldn't hold it. Can she have some of those towels to wipe off her feet?" I handed the towels to the girl, and went to go get a trash can for it when she was done. When I came back, she tossed the pee-soaked towels into the trash and the family walked away. Are you serious? For the next ten minutes I was on my hands and knees wiping up pee off the floor, because apparently our mop doesn't know how to ya know....mop? It didn't soak up anything. Frustrated and a little peeved, I took my break so I could breathe again. Take note people: if your kids are peeing their pants at age 10, there's a problem. And for pete's sake, don't make a stranger clean it up! I get paid, but not THAT well.

Signed,
Potty train your kids people!

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